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Don't do anything anthropoidal.
I saw an advert for vodka. A billboard advert. It made less sense than anything I ever saw. It was a naked man asleep in a tiled room, on a bed of straw, with a gorilla. He looked really happy. I couldn't really make out the words because I was squinting too hard with confusion, but I think they said something about quality over quantity.
This is what I'm assuming the advert was saying: if you drink this vodka before going to bed, you'll have the most comfortable night's sleep you can imagine. As represented by being naked on a pile of straw, in a seventies bathroom, with a mountain gorilla.
Now, I don't mind gorillas, as it goes. I know that's running very much against my general anti-anthropoid philosophy, but as it goes I do quite like gorillas, and also orangutans. It's monkeys I can't bear. Monkeys and chimpanzees. And baboons. OH GOD BABOONS. Sometimes I think I ought to review my use of capitals because anyone glancing over this post is going to assume it's less about my analysing advertising trends than it is about my going a bit insane. BUT. For all that I don't mind gorillas, I don't think that the pinnacle of comfortable sleep revolves very much around them. Or bathrooms. Or straw. Or in any sense vodka.
And who decided straw was a comfortable thing to sleep on anyway? Straw is pointy and has beings in its depths. Only horses like sleeping on straw. Was this advert written by horses?
This is what I'm assuming the advert was saying: if you drink this vodka before going to bed, you'll have the most comfortable night's sleep you can imagine. As represented by being naked on a pile of straw, in a seventies bathroom, with a mountain gorilla.
Now, I don't mind gorillas, as it goes. I know that's running very much against my general anti-anthropoid philosophy, but as it goes I do quite like gorillas, and also orangutans. It's monkeys I can't bear. Monkeys and chimpanzees. And baboons. OH GOD BABOONS. Sometimes I think I ought to review my use of capitals because anyone glancing over this post is going to assume it's less about my analysing advertising trends than it is about my going a bit insane. BUT. For all that I don't mind gorillas, I don't think that the pinnacle of comfortable sleep revolves very much around them. Or bathrooms. Or straw. Or in any sense vodka.
And who decided straw was a comfortable thing to sleep on anyway? Straw is pointy and has beings in its depths. Only horses like sleeping on straw. Was this advert written by horses?