It makes EVERY GOAL like a brilliant random attack of violence among my friends group.

This made me laugh LOTS, though my insides are broken and I wish I were in India.

I fail to see the attraction of tennis. I've tried a bit 'cause I have friends who seem to thrilled by it and I continue not to be. I nearly had an argument once with a man who claimed tennis was enthralling and F1 was interminably dull (in the late nineties, when Schumacher was winning things), only I decided to go 'chuh' and walk away instead.