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Boy of seven on train: Mother. Which country is the most influential?
Mother of boy: In political terms?
Boy: I think so.
Mother: Or economic terms? Or spiritual terms?
Boy: Those too. Australia, do you think?
Me: *Boggled silence because the boy knew the words influential, political, economic and spiritual*
Mother: No.

Later that day.

Me: What are you thinking about?
Brother: Locke.
Me: Yeah. Me too.

Oh god, I dreamt there was a man who was going to train me how to fight with tea. It was just like the karate kid except I was begging him to teach me how to fight with tea instead of hands and feet. And he never did. He took me into a smelly gym and told me I had to start by chewing a mouthful of dry leaves, and then he just went away to participate in a cycle race leaving me to scrape tea from my hard palatte.

Now I shall never know.
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