Half a dozen highlights of my walk.

It began with a certain amount of disappointment. I walked past houses, spotting no Christmas trees, and fields, spying no horses. I entered Tesco, and found no individual mince pies. I left a little despondant.

I then walked along an overgrown cycle path and scared a woman by walking too close behind her. She probably thought I was some creepy stalking man type thing. Really she was just too slow and the path was too narrow to overtake. She turned around and looked at me a bit aghast and then more or less flung herself into the hedge so I could pass her, which I did, looking very much at the ground.

In the churchyard that lives at the end of this lane, I heard a cat singing untunefully to itself in the distance, and looked around for it so I could halloo it. It turned to my halloo and hallooed back twice as loud, then it galloped some 50 yards down a grave strewn slope to reach me, yelling things like 'DON'T MOVE!' and 'HERE I COME!' all the way. Then it arrived and skidded to a halt on a shoulder-high wall in front of me. It greeted me with several strange noises and a cheerful headbutt, then it stepped onto my shoulders and stood there quite contentedly, purring and jamming its nose in my ear and pushing its head up my coat sleeve. It was a darling mostly, but I wondered how I could continue my walk with a large ginger tomcat attached to my shoulders. It turned out to be one of those mogs quite open to suggestions, and when I patted the wall it stepped onto it. It did then pivot very athletically and regained its perch, but the second time I managed to jump out of the way.

In the park, I watched a boy stringing a rope between two trees and then jumping on it and trying to walk across it. I've never seen anyone practising tightrope walking in a public park before and was quite intrigued. Sadly I had to stop watching as I seemed to be making him fall off a bit and it was faintly dispiriting for the both of us.

I ambled into a wooded path. There were two people standing in the middle of it kissing quite passionately. I was mildly flummoxed. I wondered if I should turn around and find another route, but that would look terribly obvious and they might feel caught and ashamed. I wondered if perhaps I should make some witty and slightly caustic comment that would not offend them but would ease the tension somewhat and make us all laugh slightly. I was very close to them by now and it was fairly evident they weren't going to stop and lean against the railing and chat for a bit till I'd passed out of view. They were going to kiss, passionately, while I squeezed by them. I now felt a tad offended. I wasn't sure this was quite polite behaviour. I then thought possibly I ought to be celebrating this public display of affection by smiling warmly as I passed them and then looking thankfully skywards. Or possibly I should just pretend I'd spotted something rare in the feathery line in a nearby holly bush. Luckily I was already about 10 yards beyond them by this point, so it didn't much matter either way. And anyway, I very much doubt they noticed me.

Then I saw a fun-sized Jack Russell terrier puppy and laughed quite loudly, and luckily no-one concerned in that case noticed me either.

Half a dozen highlights of my walk.

It began with a certain amount of disappointment. I walked past houses, spotting no Christmas trees, and fields, spying no horses. I entered Tesco, and found no individual mince pies. I left a little despondant.

I then walked along an overgrown cycle path and scared a woman by walking too close behind her. She probably thought I was some creepy stalking man type thing. Really she was just too slow and the path was too narrow to overtake. She turned around and looked at me a bit aghast and then more or less flung herself into the hedge so I could pass her, which I did, looking very much at the ground.

In the churchyard that lives at the end of this lane, I heard a cat singing untunefully to itself in the distance, and looked around for it so I could halloo it. It turned to my halloo and hallooed back twice as loud, then it galloped some 50 yards down a grave strewn slope to reach me, yelling things like 'DON'T MOVE!' and 'HERE I COME!' all the way. Then it arrived and skidded to a halt on a shoulder-high wall in front of me. It greeted me with several strange noises and a cheerful headbutt, then it stepped onto my shoulders and stood there quite contentedly, purring and jamming its nose in my ear and pushing its head up my coat sleeve. It was a darling mostly, but I wondered how I could continue my walk with a large ginger tomcat attached to my shoulders. It turned out to be one of those mogs quite open to suggestions, and when I patted the wall it stepped onto it. It did then pivot very athletically and regained its perch, but the second time I managed to jump out of the way.

In the park, I watched a boy stringing a rope between two trees and then jumping on it and trying to walk across it. I've never seen anyone practising tightrope walking in a public park before and was quite intrigued. Sadly I had to stop watching as I seemed to be making him fall off a bit and it was faintly dispiriting for the both of us.

I ambled into a wooded path. There were two people standing in the middle of it kissing quite passionately. I was mildly flummoxed. I wondered if I should turn around and find another route, but that would look terribly obvious and they might feel caught and ashamed. I wondered if perhaps I should make some witty and slightly caustic comment that would not offend them but would ease the tension somewhat and make us all laugh slightly. I was very close to them by now and it was fairly evident they weren't going to stop and lean against the railing and chat for a bit till I'd passed out of view. They were going to kiss, passionately, while I squeezed by them. I now felt a tad offended. I wasn't sure this was quite polite behaviour. I then thought possibly I ought to be celebrating this public display of affection by smiling warmly as I passed them and then looking thankfully skywards. Or possibly I should just pretend I'd spotted something rare in the feathery line in a nearby holly bush. Luckily I was already about 10 yards beyond them by this point, so it didn't much matter either way. And anyway, I very much doubt they noticed me.

Then I saw a fun-sized Jack Russell terrier puppy and laughed quite loudly, and luckily no-one concerned in that case noticed me either.

Evil dancing.

( Cut because actually this is mostly all spoilers for dancing-results. )

Evil dancing.

( Cut because actually this is mostly all spoilers for dancing-results. )