OH GOD.

My thirtieth birthday is two weeks today. And possibly by then there'll be a tory administration. And Stephen Hendry will be out of the snooker. Will the snooker still be happening then? I don't know. OH HIDEOUS DAY. On the plus side, my bluebells look likely to be out fairly soon. I doubt they'll prove sufficiently cheering, but it's a start.

Things I ought probably to do:

* Have a non-platonic relationship.
* Drive a car.
* Get drunk.
* Move out of my childhood home.
* Taste coke. (Drinkable coke.)
* Publish a novel.
* Kiss someone. With their permission. (I don't want to. They might have a cold.)
* Travel west of Fishguard.
* Pay tax.

I'm not going to do those things. I think they might interfere with my television viewing. Which currently is snooker. I'm watching Stephen Hendry, because I haven't learned. Steve Davis is doing startlingly well at snooker and I don't know how I feel about it because in the eighties and nineties, when snooker was proper and all the commentators were still on the circuit, Steve Davis was the enemy. If he won, it meant Dennis and Hendry had lost. But I like that he's the only player left who started before I was born and I like it when people who are fifty-two do well at sport and the nostalgic bit of my brain, which is dominant, sort of doesn't mind if he continues to do well. Can we have a Davis/Hendry final? I haven't properly studied the draw. I don't know. Obvious we can't simply because Hendry's going to LOSE, but you know.

I love it when Ken Doherty says 'Great shot' and he's talking about Stephen Hendry. It makes me feel warm in my spleen.

OH GOD.

My thirtieth birthday is two weeks today. And possibly by then there'll be a tory administration. And Stephen Hendry will be out of the snooker. Will the snooker still be happening then? I don't know. OH HIDEOUS DAY. On the plus side, my bluebells look likely to be out fairly soon. I doubt they'll prove sufficiently cheering, but it's a start.

Things I ought probably to do:

* Have a non-platonic relationship.
* Drive a car.
* Get drunk.
* Move out of my childhood home.
* Taste coke. (Drinkable coke.)
* Publish a novel.
* Kiss someone. With their permission. (I don't want to. They might have a cold.)
* Travel west of Fishguard.
* Pay tax.

I'm not going to do those things. I think they might interfere with my television viewing. Which currently is snooker. I'm watching Stephen Hendry, because I haven't learned. Steve Davis is doing startlingly well at snooker and I don't know how I feel about it because in the eighties and nineties, when snooker was proper and all the commentators were still on the circuit, Steve Davis was the enemy. If he won, it meant Dennis and Hendry had lost. But I like that he's the only player left who started before I was born and I like it when people who are fifty-two do well at sport and the nostalgic bit of my brain, which is dominant, sort of doesn't mind if he continues to do well. Can we have a Davis/Hendry final? I haven't properly studied the draw. I don't know. Obvious we can't simply because Hendry's going to LOSE, but you know.

I love it when Ken Doherty says 'Great shot' and he's talking about Stephen Hendry. It makes me feel warm in my spleen.