whatho | Don't do anything anthropoidal.

I saw an advert for vodka. A billboard advert. It made less sense than anything I ever saw. It was a naked man asleep in a tiled room, on a bed of straw, with a gorilla. He looked really happy. I couldn't really make out the words because I was squinting too hard with confusion, but I think they said something about quality over quantity.

This is what I'm assuming the advert was saying: if you drink this vodka before going to bed, you'll have the most comfortable night's sleep you can imagine. As represented by being naked on a pile of straw, in a seventies bathroom, with a mountain gorilla.

Now, I don't mind gorillas, as it goes. I know that's running very much against my general anti-anthropoid philosophy, but as it goes I do quite like gorillas, and also orangutans. It's monkeys I can't bear. Monkeys and chimpanzees. And baboons. OH GOD BABOONS. Sometimes I think I ought to review my use of capitals because anyone glancing over this post is going to assume it's less about my analysing advertising trends than it is about my going a bit insane. BUT. For all that I don't mind gorillas, I don't think that the pinnacle of comfortable sleep revolves very much around them. Or bathrooms. Or straw. Or in any sense vodka.

And who decided straw was a comfortable thing to sleep on anyway? Straw is pointy and has beings in its depths. Only horses like sleeping on straw. Was this advert written by horses?